My heart is beating fast now. There are many things that I must to face with my real life. I pushed me to be me, as a hidden, crazy and dangered human-being, under all daily pressure and emotion. The feeling is just coming back.
It has been a very long period to me (last 6 months).
To summarize, I make it as short list of a game motif to look back on A CRAZY YEAR WITH SELF-ACCEPTANCE/RECOGNITION .
I decided to not play emotional game . Part of joy I take, it is not trial and error, so I can not lied with myself again and again anymore.
The world that I am living at the present should see me as who I think and I know about me, publicly and politely.
By using TRUTH OR DARE’s game motif, I will tell my story.
+ Have a long ride about 8-10 hour continuously.
+ Ride at night in rural areas with speed of 50-60 km/h with not enough road light.
+ Have a short and very close behaviors with strangers (no matter who they are)
+ Crush to the one I like/love at first sight.
+ Travel alone (without detail plan).
+ Cross to some countries’ borders.
+ Say the truth, open mind, talk about sex, write out, and just be me!
+ I had many fears and I am going to get over them all.
+ Have no feeling with many persons who maybe interested at me. When I said I don’t, it means “I don’t”. Sometimes I procrastinate to answer, I must choose the correct word to say because I don’t want any misunderstanding.
+ I used to kiss girls, and the feeling with their lips are different/great in comparison with men. Honestly, I feel happy with it. To me, different sexes means nothings to a relationship and true feeling. I accepted who I am and know that it is part of me.
+ I have met many men at work, who told me that they want to fuck me and sometimes they get over the accepted border. I still can face and talk to them, because business must run, but sorry, I never want to mixed up work and my personal life.
+ I love travel and I love to be alone. People said that because I like FREEDOM. I want to bond myself to the ones I like, just them is enough. NO MORE.
+ Sometimes I behaved soooo weird, I knew. I think about DID syndrome, so whatever it happened, it’s me. I am bad at control myself because I can change 100% my firmed thought in the next day. Who know, who care!
+ “I love you”, yeah, I want to say it to S.O. I still have emotions, but it is only for my right person. When I like S.O, there are million thoughts come up inside my mind. I am busy to stop and control my mind with my whole respect to them. I like gentle approaches =))))